I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
