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Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
