How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
