I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
