Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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