Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
