Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
