I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
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You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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