Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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