people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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