dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
