how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
