It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
