youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
