were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
