Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
