now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
