Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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