i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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