drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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