do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The beer is more important than you right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
