i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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