how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
