He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
