He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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