Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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