PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
