Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
and you fell through a lawn chair
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
