Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
porn star boner night. come get it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
