There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
