her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
