Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
