Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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