he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize