1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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