watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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