I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
