Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
