i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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