i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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