dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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