Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
