i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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