i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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