i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
