Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
