Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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