I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
