Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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