glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
