Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
