How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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