we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
