I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
