Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
