I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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