I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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