You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
