Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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