i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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