Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
