I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize