Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
