is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
