I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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