do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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