omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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